我刚写了五分钟作业，手机吃醋了，我哄了它两小时。
I just wrote my homework for five minutes. My mobile phone was jealous. I coaxed it for two hours.
我刚准备坠入爱河，可河神对我说，不要再往河里丢垃圾了。
I was just about to fall in love, but the river god said to me, don"t litter the river any more.
我有个朋友16还没没来大姨妈，结果我朋友去医院检查了，医生说男生不来大姨妈。
I have a friend 16 has not come to aunt, as a result, my friend went to the hospital for examination, the doctor said that boys do not come to aunt.
我一直以为聋哑人是不会吵架的。直到那天我去吃火锅。两个聋哑人在吵架，那手语打的，比火影忍者结印还快。
I always thought that deaf people would not quarrel. Until that day I went to eat hot pot. Two deaf and dumb people are quarreling. The sign language is faster than Naruto"s printing.
只要我足够沙雕，就不会有烦恼。
As long as I have enough sand sculptures, I won"t have any worries.
我问风扇我丑不丑，结果他摇了一晚上的头。
I asked the fan if I was ugly, and he shook his head all night.
睡前听到隔壁一对情侣吵架，男的说：你再吼我就去隔壁睡。幸福来得这么突然的吗？
Before going to bed, I heard a couple quarrel next door. The man said, "if you yell again, I"ll go to sleep next door.". Is happiness so sudden?
人生苦短，我特么怎么这么懒。
Life is short. Why am I so lazy.
别人都是承受了这个年纪不该有的压力，而我是承受了这个年纪不该有的食量。
Other people are under the pressure of this age should not have, but I am bearing the food that this age should not have.
如果你不开心就给我打电话，我会挂掉让你更不开心。
If you are not happy, call me, I will hang up and make you more unhappy.
我家老鼠生病了，我给它喂了老鼠药，希望它早点好起来。
My mouse is sick, I gave it rat medicine, I hope he gets better soon.
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怼人必备的超A句子，不带脏字，让人哑口无言
写给对象的暖心情话，甜蜜撩人，男女必备
