我也要在朋友圈摆摊了，主要贩卖我的美貌与才华。
I will also set up a stall in the circle of friends, mainly selling my beauty and talent.
原谅我性格内向，实在做不出抢单这种事儿。
Forgive me for being introverted. I really can"t rush to pay the bill.
这种天气，出门千万得注意点儿，摔倒了容易烫伤。
When you go out in this weather, you must pay attention to it. It"s easy to burn if you fall down.
其实我以前个子挺高的，只不过后来经常洗澡缩水了而已。
In fact, I used to be tall, but later I often took a bath and shrunk.
胖的原因大概就是，瘦小的身躯，容不下我伟大的人格。
The reason why I"m fat is probably that my thin body can"t hold my great personality
以后谁再说爱你，上去啪就一嘴巴子，他要没还手他就是真爱你。
If someone says he loves you, you"ll just slap him. If he doesn"t fight back, that means he really loves you.
闺蜜丢了，我马上跑到警察局报案，警察说姑娘你冷静一下，你一直笑我们没办法做笔录。
I lost my best friend, I ran to the police station to report the case. The police said you should calm down, and you keep laughing that we can"t make notes.
跟长辈聊天时，我们总是想尽办法讨他们开心，而他们总是三言两语就能让我们不开心。
When we talk to our elders, we always try our best to make them happy, and they always make us unhappy in a few words.
图源来自网络，侵权立删，谢谢！
