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一、最气人的是上次吃鸡，人家一直喊着开麦，最后我开了，人家问了一句:“你是男的吗”
The most irritating thing was the last time I ate chicken, people kept shouting to open wheat, and finally I opened it. People asked, "Are you a man?"
二、搞不懂那些签名换成 别烦 勿扰 不闲聊的人到底是谁在烦你 让他烦我行不行
I don"t know who is bothering you and let him bother me if those signatures are replaced by those who don"t bother and don"t gossip.
三、告诉你们一个秘密：吃饱了撑着的话就倒立，这样原本要长在肚子上的肉就会滑到胸前了
Let me tell you a secret: if you are full and support yourself, you will stand on your head, so that the meat that would have grown on your belly will slide to your chest.
四、我是一个争强好胜的女人 今天前男友加我微信说他要结婚了，问我在干嘛，我说我在坐月子
I am a competitive woman. Today, my ex-boyfriend told me on WeChat that he was getting married. Asked what I was doing, I said I was having a baby.
五、挑战365天不做美女 今天第一天挑战失败 去超市买罐可乐老板说美女3块
Challenge 365 Days Not to Be a Beautiful Woman Today"s First Challenge Fails to Go to Supermarket to Buy Coke Boss Says Beautiful Woman 3 Dollars
六、女孩子喜欢把头枕在男孩子肩上 后来女孩子得了颈椎病 男孩子得了肩周炎
Girls like to put their heads on boys"shoulders, and then girls get cervical spondylosis, and boys get frozen shoulder
七、我时间不多了 其实我和你们不一样 你们主食靠大米 而我只能靠大海里的珍珠精华才能维持我的生命 外面那么热 我是人鱼会死的 所以你能不能帮我带杯珍珠奶茶
I don"t have much time. Actually, I"m not like you. Your staple food depends on rice, and I can only rely on the essence of pearls in the sea to keep me alive. It"s so hot outside. I"m a mermaid. I"ll die, so can you bring me a cup of Pearl milk tea
八、被一道数学题难住了 于是我把题目对着天空 毕竟人算不如天算
I was puzzled by a math problem, so I pointed the problem at the sky. After all, man is not as good as heaven.
九、其实我挺自卑的 走在路上我都不敢牵别人男朋友
In fact, I feel inferior and dare not lead other people"s boyfriends on the road.
十、可能我来到这个世界上就是一个错误所以我想问问大家到底要我怎样才可以停止散发魅力
Maybe it was a mistake for me to come into this world, so I want to ask you how I can stop being charming
十一、大晚上，还能看到街上很多外卖小哥奔波送餐，突然感到很励志，别人这么晚了都还在吃，我又有什么理由不吃
In the big night, I can still see a lot of takeaway brothers on the street rushing to deliver food. Suddenly I feel very inspirational. Others are still eating so late. What reason do I have not to eat.
十二、 肚子疼就喝凉水 不行就吞玻璃 不然就自杀 反正别找我男朋友
Drink cold water if you have a stomachache, swallow glass if you can"t, or kill yourself. Don"t call my boyfriend anyway
十三、我平常真的很好说话 如果我哪天说话让你感觉膈应了 你不要多想我确实就是故意膈应你的
I"m usually really easy to talk to. If I ever make you feel like you"re doing it, don"t think about it. I did do it on purpose
十四、大晚上，还能看到街上很多外卖小哥奔波送餐，突然感到很励志，别人这么晚了都还在吃，我又有什么理由不吃
In the big night, I can still see a lot of takeaway brothers on the street rushing to deliver food. Suddenly I feel very inspirational. Others are still eating so late. What reason do I have not to eat.
十五、天天收红包 怪不好意思的 没办法主要是我这个人太有吸引力了你说是吧蚊子?
I"m sorry that I can"t accept red envelopes everyday. I"m so attractive, don"t you think, Mosquito?
十六、为什么心情不好的时候总会想吃东西 因为伤心欲嚼
Why to always want to eat when the mood is bad because sad want to chew
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