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大家好，介绍一下我的身份，我是著名电视剧电影的热心观众。
Hello, everyone. Let me introduce my identity. I am an enthusiastic audience of famous TV series and movies.
想叫你一声老公，但又骂不过你老婆。
I want to call you husband, but I can"t scold your wife.
热到疯狂锤墙，我家已经变成单间了。
Hot to crazy hammer wall, my home has become a single room.
又到了一年高考时，偷偷地找出自己的毕业证，吹了吹上面覆盖的灰尘，顿时思绪万千，有什么用呢，不还是要靠脸吃饭？
Another year, when the college entrance examination was held, he secretly found out his graduation certificate and blew the dust covered on it. All of a sudden, he was full of thoughts. What"s the use of it? We still have to eat with our faces?
汉服快点火起来吧，等大街上的人都穿汉服，我就可以把我的龙袍拿出来穿了。
Hanfu is on fire. When people in the street wear Hanfu, I can take out my Dragon Robe and wear it.
晚上我偷偷问魔镜：“我是不是世上最黑的人？”
魔镜发出惊恐的声音：“谁？谁TM在说话？！”
In the evening, I secretly asked the mirror: "Am I the darkest man in the world?"
The mirror made a frightened voice: "Who? Who"s talking? "
好想谈恋爱，恨不得脚踏8条船来表明我想恋爱的决心。
I want to fall in love so much that I want to show my determination to love.
我有女神的电话号码，每天都能知道她睡醒没有，打电话给她，没人接就是还没醒，挂掉了，就是醒了，你们不要太羡慕我。
I have the phone number of the goddess. I can know whether she wakes up or not every day. Call her. If no one answers, she is still awake. If you hang up, you will wake up. Don"t envy me too much.
发了个段子给我妈，她回复哈哈哈哈哈，我说：有意思吧？她说：挺有才的，谁写的啊？我说是我写的，她说：你一天天的能不能干点正事？
Send a paragraph to my mother, she replied ha ha ha ha, I said: interesting? She said: very talented, who wrote it? I said I wrote it, she said: can you do something serious every day?
捡到一瓶花露水，不知道谁的，也许这就是六神无主吧。
I found a bottle of toilet water. I don"t know whose it is. Maybe it"s the six gods.
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