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把裤子放进冰箱，从此做一个冷裤的人。
Put your pants in the refrigerator and be a cold pants man from now on.
大家晚上好，有对象的也好，没对象的可以试试跟我好。
Good evening, everyone. It"s good to have an object. If you don"t have an object, you can try to be good with me.
我已经很久没有发动态了，怎么样？喜不喜欢我这个沉默寡言的姑娘。
I haven"t sent a message for a long time. How about it? Do you like my silent girl.
很久喜欢猪八戒说的一句话，饿了。
For a long time, I like what Zhu Bajie said. I"m hungry.
我觉得长得瘦的才能叫丫头片子，像我这样的，只能叫丫头块子。
I think only those who are thin can be called girl films.
所谓进退两难，抬头有抬头纹，低头有双下巴。
The so-called dilemma is to raise your head and lower your head with a double chin.
我想好了 以后吵架 一三五你QQ道歉 二四六你微信道歉 星期天让你自己选 没问题吧。
I think after the quarrel, one three five, you apologize on QQ, two four six, you apologize on wechat. It"s OK for you to choose on Sunday.
评论抽一位跟我谈恋爱没别的就让你体会什么是人生不幸什么是情感厄运
If you choose one to fall in love with me, nothing else will let you realize what is life misfortune and what is emotional misfortune
三观正的请和我做朋友 五官正的请做我男朋友
Please make friends with me if you are sanguanzheng. Please be my boyfriend if you have facial features
以后一定要对男朋友好一点，毕竟他是这个世界上眼光最好的人。
Be nice to your boyfriend in the future. After all, he has the best vision in the world.
今天有点烦 但不知道怎么形容 我暂且称它为公主的烦恼
It"s a little annoying today, but I don"t know how to describe it. I call it princess"s trouble for the time being
我喝了一口牛奶竟然忘记了你们是谁 原来我喝的是“忘崽牛奶”
I drank a mouthful of milk and forgot who you are. It turned out that I drank "forget baby milk"
小时候最讨厌的事情就是吃饭和睡觉，现在想想当年真是贱啊!
When I was a child, the most annoying thing was to eat and sleep. Now think about how cheap it was!
我哪里不好你告诉我，我马上把你删掉。
What"s wrong with me? Tell me and I"ll delete you right away.
图源网，侵联删
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