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马上我就要和暑假分手了，因为我们之间出现了第三者，它叫作“开学”。
I will break up with the summer vacation soon, because there is a third party between us, which is called "school start".
本人宣布破产了，有没有一起去捡破烂啤酒瓶子卖的，你负责工具 我负责喊 我们一起当老板。
I declare bankruptcy. Did you go to pick up broken beer bottles to sell together? You are responsible for the tools. I am responsible for calling us the boss together
穷则忙，忙则胖，过劳肥，好忧伤。
Poor is busy, busy is fat, overwork is fat, so sad.
会演戏的不一定都是演员，会装的一定就是孙子。
Those who can act are not necessarily actors. Those who can pretend must be grandchildren.
想变美就多睡觉，睡懵了就觉得自己美了。
If you want to be beautiful, sleep more. If you are confused, you feel beautiful.
人生很多事，终究是会随着时间好起来的，像很多人原来只是胖，久了就变好胖。
Many things in life will get better with time. For example, many people are just fat and become fat after a long time.
找男朋友，要求不高，和女孩子讲过话的不要。
Looking for a boyfriend is not demanding. Don"t talk to girls.
曾经相信能把日子过成段子，如今只盼别把日子变成案子。
I used to believe that I could make a joke of my life. Now I just hope not to turn my life into a case.
曾经和朋友一起仰望星空，随之我们泪流满面，他是因为失恋，而我是因为扭伤了脖子。
Once I looked up at the stars with my friends, and then we burst into tears. He was lovelorn, and I sprained my neck.
不要冲我放电，我媳妇那里有来电显示。
Don"t discharge at me. My daughter-in-law has a caller ID.
我们老板是小怪兽，我们是奥特曼。但我们见了老板就跑，因为我们没带召唤器。
Our boss is a little monster. We are Altman. But we ran away when we saw the boss because we didn"t bring a summoner.
凌晨一点：我今天必定早睡，凌晨两点：差不多了，马上睡，凌晨三点：深呼吸，一定能睡着，凌晨四点：百度一下世界上到底有没有龙。
One o"clock in the morning: I must go to bed early today. Two o"clock in the morning: almost. Go to bed right away. Three o"clock in the morning: take a deep breath and be sure to fall asleep. Four o"clock in the morning: Baidu check whether there is a dragon in the world.
成年人的生活，除了容易胖，容易穷，容易烦恼，其他都不容易！
Adult life is not easy except easy to be fat, easy to be poor and easy to worry!
别人长得好看才叫海王，你这样的只能叫水鬼
Others are called sea king only when they are good-looking. You can only be called a water ghost
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